2017 Update - I am turning 52 on Monday January 23, so it is time for my day of free birthday meals! The list of free birthday meals in this article is by no means 100% complete. You may find many local restaurants (not chains) that offer a free birthday meal. Also, since I live in Florida, there be be chains in other regions of the country that I have not listed here. What is becoming more and more the standard is that you need to be signed up in advance through the restaurant's website and receive your free meal voucher by e mail. There are still those chains that don't require this, just walk in and claim your free meal (most notably Denny's and Firehouse Subs).
Imagine if men and women offered a media of exchange wherein each received something they actually like.
Better than exchanging fruitcakes or bad dates.
Will Snuggle for Sex!
Will exchange passionate kisses and romance for bacon, violent movies and video games!!!
Meanwhile at the prison where ALL the men identify as women:
Donald Trump was exchanged for a garden hose, a pack of Lucky Strikes, and sex toy to be named later.
I was thinking of offering to bring back tongues from the dead for a fee. Now mainly my thinking was to offer to program in dead programming languages if the prospective employer were--in addition to my exorbitant hourly rates--agree to pay all expenses involved in setting up an environment in which the dead programming language could run.
I might also agree to attempt the resurrection of spoken or written languages for even more exorbitant fees. After all, I am not a linguists, not even a cunning one and I would have to pay those dudes to do my work for me. That and I hear the fee for bringing some corpse back to life to speak or write a dead language is out of this world.
Dead Languages Researched and Prototyped for a fee!
I wonder if Bill Clinton is going senile.
Apparently Ashley Madison got in trouble for lax security and got famous for having more fembots than women in it's ranks. Rumor has it that Ashley Madison is swearing off fembot in favor of a few dozen women who want to be talked dirty to by a million horny men. Right.
This sounds like a job for that 45 year old East European man with acne and sexual disease that only comes from congress with animals, who has 512 pictures of drop dead gorgeous 21 year hot babes. He experienced "fisherman" who pretends be the girl of some 35 year old adolescent dreams. After awhile, Ivan, or Egor, or what WhatsHisSlav will, in the persona of Kristina Sex Kitten, have a dying mother on chemo who needs $10,000.....
Anyone who sees how the "men" if ISIS seem to want to fuck anything that moves has to realize that the key to defeating ISIS may be Cybernetic Sexual Surrogates, SexBots and FemBots.
On the other hand, it's only a matter of time before Little Fatty, ruler of North Korea realizes that if he could torture his scientists into making the sexiest looking cybernetic sexual surrogates the world has ever seen he could defeat South Korea and the entire west without firing a shot. Surely every man in every army would drop his weapon and his trousers and run pell-mell into an orgy of SexBots and fuck the sexiests ones they can find.
Thus and therefor I predict that a War of the SexBots is coming. The sexual robots of North Korea will be pitted against the FemBots of the west and they will both try to fuck each other up.
Where the Sexy Robots at?
The future of sex is almost certainly cybernetic. There are many, many reasons for this. You cannot get an android pregnant. An android cannot give you a sexual disease. An android would never feel jealously or heartache. An android could never sue you for child support. If android accidently removed a part of you that you had grown rather attached to, at least she would not do it out of spite. An android would not make videos of the sex and put the sex tapes out on the internet. You could make all the sex tapes you wanted with the android and distribute them hither and yon without ever being sued by the android. With an android you could have sex with a different person every night. You could even have gay or straight sex or both at the same time without anyone ever know or caring for that matter. You could have sex with an android that looked at old or as young as you like without breaking any age related laws or taboos or social conventions. If for whatever reason you wanted the android to look like a 63 year grandmother in a Catholic school girl dress you could do it and either no would be the wiser or you could show the whole internet if you like.
Speaking of kink, you could do things to your android that would be repulsive, impossible or deadly if done with a human being. At least you could have the perfect BDSM partner that always stopped in time when hurting you or never asked you to stop when you were hurting it.
I would imagine that some shrinks and social activists will balk if you try to put pain circuits into your BDSM sex bot. It just feels wrong.
Some of the things you could do with your sex bot 9000 might be turnons for but just weird to others. The obvious thing is an entirely hairless sex box. Some not so obvious thing would be a sexbot with public hairs dyed different colors. Or with a hairy but or with hair soles of the feet, hair ankles, or knees. You could give you sexbot fish scales or make your sexbot look like a furry.
Your fembot could be programmed to simulate anyone living or dead. In other words you could have sex with dead people with disturbing the neighbors. If you want your sexbot 9000 to look like the late Margaret Thatcher no one would be the wiser.
With a fembot you could have sex with anyone no matter how famous or infamous. So those of you who are infatuated with Barack Hussein Obama could have sex with the Commander in Chief of the United States while he is wearing some pseudo Harry Potter witching costume casting a very good patronous spell and making magic money appear and disappear just like he does in real life.
Speaking of sex with the living and the dead, you could make he flesh of the fembot supple or hard, wet or dry. You could have that android skin feel like warm flesh or cold plastic depending on your preference. You could have you android simulate human furniture and put them in all sorts of humiliating and difficult posing without ever harming an actual human being. Those of you who are into bestiality but don’t want to be bother with the associated diseases or with the beasts who really don’t want to get it on but do want to kick you to death. You can get animal robot that will do what you want without a visit from the health inspector, animal control, a psychiatrist or animal rights activist.
Actually, an android could give you sexual disease if you there was more than one user and if the android was not properly maintained. A properly maintained robot would be irradiated, dipped in bleach, exposed to ultraviolet light, exposed to cleansing ultrasonic, irradiated by a powerful laser and purified in ways you cannot imagine. And all of this could be done for pennies faster than you can brush your teeth. Even if thousands of humans used the same android for sex, there is no reason why she should carry disease.
As long as we are talking about being intimate with machines there something that almost everyone, even those of you who are screaming “Never with a machine” will probably one day enjoy. One day almost all the caretakers of the elderly will be machines. These machines will never tire of your old wars stories. They will not show disgust if you soil you adult diaper. They will watch you more closely if you develop Alzheimers and if they are programmed properly to appear gentle and kind they will be the last great love in the lives of some elderly people. They will not mourn when you gone. They will just take care of the next oldster with what passes close enough for love and affection.
If someone over 25 told me they would under no conceivable circumstances would they have sex with an android, fembot, robot or any non human appliance I would not believe them but might pretend that I did. Yeah, you can tell people that you only use that device to massage you neck and like me they will pretend to believe to.
But I am thinking that amongst the younger generation, I would venture to say, 25 or less there will be fewer and fewer qualms about have sex with androids. There will be a coming wave of sexual revolutions. In my view, polygamy will become legal. There will be trisexuals. There will come a point where some folks rent their bodies out to be used sexually by other folks and then finally, almost no one in and industrialized society will every touch another human being at any time for any reason. Even babies will be nursed by androids. When that time comes, the only sex in the industrialized world with be robot sex!