joke

09/18/2016

Dead Languages For Sale

I was thinking of offering to bring back tongues from the dead for a fee. Now mainly my thinking was to offer to program in dead programming languages if the prospective employer were--in addition to my exorbitant hourly rates--agree to pay all expenses involved in setting up an environment in which the dead programming language could run.

I might also agree to attempt the resurrection of spoken or written languages for even more exorbitant fees. After all, I am not a linguists, not even a cunning one and I would have to pay those dudes to do my work for me. That and I hear the fee for bringing some corpse back to life to speak or write a dead language is out of this world.

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Dead Languages Researched and Prototyped for a fee!

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https://www.facebook.com/The-Weirdest-Thing-Youve-Seen-All-Day-1143849245626681/

bBizarre Bizarre Headless Zombie Space Alien T-Shirt

National Zombie Day Take A Zombie To Lunch T-Shirt

Zombies Demand Bacon Flavored Brainz T-Shirt

Sep 18, 2016 8:32:03 AM | bbizarre, bizarre, crazy, Current Affairs, employment, humor, jobs, joke, kooky, Science, Weird, work, writing

07/10/2016

#PresidentObamaNotBarry Or Barry Soetoro Penis Party

Help Celebrate Barack Hussein Obama's Legacy of Sexual Liberation

Help celebrate Obama’s legacy of worldwide sexual liberation. Let’s send him on a one way trip to the Japanese Penis festival! There Barack Hussein Obama (aka Barry Soetoro) can change his name to Richard and be the Head Dick forever.

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Jul 10, 2016 1:26:00 PM | bbizarre, bizarre, conspiracies, conspiracy, Current Affairs, Islam, Islamaphobia, Islamophobia, joke, kooky, lamest, Moslem, Social Commentary, unusual, wacky, Weird

07/02/2016

Help Celebrate Barack Hussein Obama's Legacy of Sexual Liberation

Help celebrate Obama’s legacy of worldwide sexual liberation. Let’s send him on a one way trip to the Japanese Penis festival! There Barack Hussein Obama can change his name to Richard and be the Head Dick forever.

Japan’s Annual Penis Festival Is As Phallic As You’d Expect

Festival of the Steel Phallus

Annual PENIS FESTIVAL held to celebrate male genitals includes huge steel phallus being carried to ancient Japanese shrine

Given all that Obama has done to make public policy on private acts which cannot legally be performed in public he deserves much, much more than to be Grand Dick in the Japanese Penis festival. All of the penis floats and characters surrounding the Penis festival should be emblazoned with Barack Hussein Obama’s smiling visage.

This trip should be funded by crowd sourcing so that people all over the world could show Obama appreciation for his being such a dick.

But wait there’s more. Before Obama becomes Grand Marshall of the Penis Party he should get a big sendoff while he is still in the white house. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in the world considered sending Barack Hussein Obama huge, rainbow colored dildoes and rubber penises? Let him know exactly what you think of him.

No other world leader in human history has ever been more obsessed with what is going on in another man’s pants than Barack Hussein Obama.

Barack Hussein Obama has built more monuments to perversion than any other ruler in human history. The world should consider thanking Obama by building a huge statue in his honor. The statue could depict Obama presenting his patented two handed vertical smile whilst farting rainbows out his butt.

Barry Soetoro and the Penis Prophecy!

Barry Soetoro’s legacy can only be properly celebrated by having his face plastered all over a large pink, plastic penises in Japan. If he were a super hero he would be phallic man!

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Much, much more needs to be said bout BO’s legacy. Consider that under his stewardship the most powerful government this world has ever known has conferred rights and recognition based on acts and preferences which were merely claimed and which cannot legally be publicly observed. The Pervert in Chief or rather the Prince of Perverts has given real government seal of approval to essentially vaporware. If you had not seen it with your own eyes you would scarcely lend credence to it. What are powerful government officials doing even talking about legal, personal, private acts and preferences which are merely claimed and which under no circumstances can be legally observed? In some ways it’s one of the biggest bullshit swindles in human history.

No one has ever yet given a rational reason why strangers should be forced to know what other people claim to do in the privacy of their own bedroom. This is another bogus thing that Obama and the democrats have pulled off. They have basically bullied an entire society into acting as though the essentially rude behavior of forcing knowledge about your private sexuality on strangers is a thing to be celebrated. Democrats very much deserve a Bravo Bullshit award for this one.

Under Obama democrats have all but realized the communist dream of destroying capitalism and Christianity. They showed much more forethought and perseverance than any capitalist or Christian ever could. Democrats went into the nation’s schools and deliberately made the students stupid, amoral capitalist and Christianity hating retards. American students became the kind of butt fucking gerbils that would vote for Obama or Weekend at Bernie’s. Worse yet, this last generation of weak mind imbeciles that came out of the nations educational institutions have no bullshit or evil detectors. So when confronted with the notion of the government forcing little girls into the nation’s bathrooms alone with adult pedophiles pretending to identify as women, we no longer have a populace either smart enough or moral enough to see the obvious harm. Moreover, when rich and greedy businessmen team up with bribed traitors on he left to flood the country with foreign criminals (aka undocumented democrats) who depress wages and benefits and take all the jobs that would go to unemployed black teenagers, there remain none who can see and complain about this bribed treason. And lastly consider that although it is clear that the fake Syrian rape “refugees” are largely male and unless they left their mothers, wives and sisters to be raped by ISIS, they may be economic refugees but they are not running from a war. None of these fighting aged men can be vetted or screened to see which of them is a terrorist. Only an idiot or a bribed traitor would take even one of these fake refugees into the US. Especially when these fake refugees have religion, language and culture in common with the wealthy oil nations of the middle east. There should be marches in the streets—especially from feminists—to keep these fakers out. But the latest generation of young people are both too stupid to comprehend the obvious danger and too busy crying about paper cuts and “micro-aggressions”. It would certainly be appropriate for Barry Soetoro to get a billion dildoes as thanks for fucking America squarely in the ass just as his personal friends ISIS and the communist party order him too.

Consider that we have a generation of people so stupid as to celebrate the sexual confused. In fact they celebrate some individuals who are so twisted that they mutilate themselves in order to pretend to be something they are not.

By the way, no matter how hard I try to identify as the sun or molten lava it ain’t happening. And if you try to go amongst wild grizzlies or wild lions because you “identify” as one of them, your corpse will be unrecognizable. The only thing more idiotic than “micro-aggressions” is identifying as someone or something that you are not.

It is not that difficult to discover institutional and parental child abuse touted by democrats. They believe it to be virtuous to be confused about what’s in your pants and to actually think you might be a girl even if you have boy parts. In other words democrats like Obama have tried hard to produce a generation so stupid that they cannot look in their underwear and by that alone decide what sex they are.

Our educational institutions have morphed from being merely communist re-education camps to becoming full on idiot factories. And so we have a generation of morons who don’t know that our heavy, polluting industries have been moved to China and that even if there were anthropogenic global climate change only China could stop it.

So BO’s fascination with everyone's sex lives should be noted and celebrated and his communist victory deserves commentary as well

The preceding was just a joke about a fictional story about a purely political opinion. Not one rubber penis was harmed during the writing of this piece and while no one wore a condom the author considered wearing gloves and a surgical mask.

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Bizarre Bizarre Headless Zombie Space Alien T Shirt

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The Peoples Republic of Bacon

How to Pork the Apocalypse

The People's Republic Of Pork

Jul 2, 2016 3:05:14 PM | bbizarre, Better Drunk Than Wasted, bizarre, conspiracy, crazy, Current Affairs, deviant, Environment, humor, identify as a woman, joke, kooky, Opinions, politics, rape refugees, sex, Social Commentary, strange, Tranny, Transexual, transgender, transgendered, unusual, wacky, Weird

11/01/2015

Attack of the Angry Naked Zombie Clones Riding Unicorns

Naked Zombies Attack!

That Zombie is Naked for a Reason: Don't Hunt Naked Zombies

When Will North Korea Attack with Naked Clones On Unicorns?

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Woman Lectures Naked Zombies!

Woman Remonstrates Naked Zombies!

Don't Hunt Zombies Naked

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Eat Zombies Before They Eat You T-Shirt

Nov 1, 2015 2:41:47 PM | bizarre, Current Affairs, humor, joke, kooky, naked, naked clones, naked zombies, strange, wacky, Weird, Xombie, Zombie, Zomby

10/29/2015

A Festivus Miracle: Super Dooper Pooper Scooper Man

At last the super hero that the world needed, hoped for, and even prayed for has made his debut. Super Duper Pooper Scooper Man.

He's not a hero for the best of us, but he is a hero for the rest of us. And maybe Festivus.

He is a seeker of doggie doo in the deepest depths of your neighbor's yard. Where you left it because you didn't want your damn dog crapping on your lawn!!!

For those of you who don't have dogs and don't have access to Souper Dooper Pooper Scooper Man, but still want a Festivus Miracle here's is one: Your neighbors dogs will hence forth poop only on their own lawns. Dogs the world over will no longer want to poop anywhere but on their own lawns. It's a Festivus Miracle!

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Eat Zombies Before They Eat You T-Shirt

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Core American Values: Beer, Bacon and Bikinis Tanktops

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Texas State Motto: Hold My Beer: I Got This T-shirt

Texas State Slogan: Hold My Beer and Watch This Tanktop

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Just sold "poop" on the internet

Super Duper Pooper Scooper Man T-Shirt

white privilege

Jan 12, 2018 6:09:01 AM | #confederateflag, adult humor, bbizarre, Better Drunk Than Wasted, bizarre, Current Affairs, strange, Weird, white privilege, world's lamest

#PresidentObamaNotBarry Or Barry Soetoro Penis Party

Help Celebrate Barack Hussein Obama's Legacy of Sexual Liberation

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Jul 10, 2016 1:26:00 PM | adult humor, alien, bbizarre, bizarre, conspiracies, conspiracy, crime and punishment, Current Affairs, Islam, Islamaphobia, Islamophobia, joke, kooky, lamest, Moslem, Muslim, Social Commentary, unusual, wacky, Weird, world's lamest, world's most intolerant religion, world's worst religion

A Festivus Miracle: Super Dooper Pooper Scooper Man

At last the super hero that the world needed, hoped for, and even prayed for has made his debut. Super Duper Pooper Scooper Man.

He's not a hero for the best of us, but he is a hero for the rest of us. And maybe Festivus.

He is a seeker of doggie doo in the deepest depths of your neighbor's yard. Where you left it because you didn't want your damn dog crapping on your lawn!!!

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Eat Zombies Before They Eat You T-Shirt

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A Festivus Miracle: Super Dooper Pooper Scooper Man

Oct 29, 2015 3:08:25 PM | Better Drunk Than Wasted, bizarre, Current Affairs, festivus, festivus , humor, joke, kooky, lamest, strange, super hero, superhero, wacky, Weird

10/28/2015

Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costumes: Everyone Should Dress up as Bruce Jenner in Drag!

Woman Lectures Naked Zombies!

Don't Hunt Zombies Naked

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That Zombie is Naked for a Reason: Don't Hunt Naked Zombies

That Zombie is Naked for a Reason & Don't Fry This At Home

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National Zombie Day Take A Zombie To Lunch Shirts

Oct 28, 2015 6:53:38 PM | bizarre, Current Affairs, fetish, gay, Homophobia, homosexual, humor, joke, pervert, perverted, Social Commentary, Tranny, Transexual, wacky, Weird

10/06/2015

War of the SexBots: Cybernetic Sexual Surrogates

Anyone who sees how the "men" of ISIS seem to want to fuck anything that moves has to realize that the key to defeating ISIS may be Cybernetic Sexual Surrogates, SexBots and FemBots.

On the other hand, it's only a matter of time before Little Fatty, ruler of North Korea realizes that if he could torture his scientists into making the sexiest looking cybernetic sexual surrogates the world has ever seen he could defeat South Korea and the entire west without firing a shot. Surely every man in every army would drop his weapon and his trousers and run pell-mell into an orgy of SexBots and fuck the sexiests ones they can find.

Thus and therefor I predicte that a War of the SexBots is coming. The sexual robots of North Korea will be pitted against the FemBots of the west and they will both try to fuck each other up.

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How to Make A Perfect World: The Voluptuous Hypothesis

How to Celebrate Valentine's with Peruvian Frog Juice

Bizarre Bizarre Headless Zombie Space Alien

The bBizarre Headless Rainbow Space Alien Zombie Insect Eaters Conspiracy

Can North Korea Attack the United States with an Army of Naked Women?

CyberSexual: You Will Have Sex with a Robot. Are you Cyber Sexual?

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: PVBroadz / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

: tankgirlrs / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

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Rubber Women Full of Rusty Razor Blades for ISIS

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Sell All the Oil Before It Becomes Worthless T-Shirt

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Oct 6, 2015 3:06:51 PM | bizarre, Current Affairs, fembots, gadgets, humor, joke, kooky, naked androids, naked clones, naked robots, naked zombies, nude, nude androids, nude robots, Opinions, pervert, perverted, rubber woman, sex, sexbots, sexy, strange, wacky, Weird, wish, Wish Craft, Wishing

10/02/2015

That Zombie is Naked for a Reason: Don't Hunt Naked Zombies

It probably goes without saying that you should never hunt zombies naked.

Also, always wear clean underwear when hunting zombies. If there is a mishap, that zombie may see more than your brains.

Less well known is that you should never hunt naked zombies. That zombie is naked for a reason. A reason you don't really want to know.

There is one counter example to the maxims that you should never hunt zombies naked and that you should never hunt naked zombies. If you ever see a horde of naked zombie clones that look like super models riding unicorns, you need to run into the horde and let those cloned, zombie females have their way with you. This horde is not the indicator that the End Times, Armageddon, Doomsday , the End of the World or even the Zombie Apocalypse have happened. Rather they are the proof that Little Fatty, the Beloved Leader of North Korea has not only perfected cloning and zombification but he has actually gotten an IQ transplant and figured out that what the world needs is many, many, many more naked hot chicks. Nobody needs clones of a North Korea dictator like he was originally thinking. Hell, we don't even need one of those let only thousands. But you can never, ever have too many naked beautiful women who just want to have sex all day.

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Oct 2, 2015 10:37:22 AM | bizarre, conspiracies, conspiracy, Current Affairs, eating dead people, eating human flesh, humor, joke, naked, naked clones, naked zombies, nude, Social Commentary, wacky, Weird, Xombie, Zombie, Zomby

09/15/2015

When Will North Korea Attack with Naked Clones On Unicorns?

When Will North Korea Attack with Naked Female Clones Astride Unicorns?

Aren't you bored with the usual nuclear threats from North Korea? When is Little Fatty going to do something interesting like threatening to attack us with those unicorn they supposedly found.

And what would be even cooler would be if the dictator directed his scientists to clone the world's most beautiful women, aged the clones to be 18 years old and then attacked the west with an army of naked female clones riding unicorns!!!!

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Naked Zombies Attack!

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Geoduck Challenge: Found Something On Trump!

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They found the evidence of Trump's Russia collusion under the GEODUCKS in the corner of your son's bedroom

Hiding place of Nadler's Nachos

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